Desire, One Day at a Time

 

I want to be lazy and give in to indifference; making the minimum effort (read a little and pray a little) just enough to note a difference or a slight increase in my usual devotion, but not enough for it to hurt, stretch or challenge me. This, I know, is a crazy and impossible way to think when true transformation is the goal.

Being honest with myself, I can conclude that I am often times neglectful with placing Our engagement as a priority. Usually making Our time a past-time-as in an afterthought. I am tempted to glory in the fact that at least I do make sure to spend time with You consistently, but the reality is it’s not my Best time; not when I am my sharpest or most energetic, but often when I am tired and about to call it quits for the day-

You deserve so much more than my scraps!

Your Word, God, however, gives me strength; it fuels me to read deeper and draws my heart to fall on my knees in prayer-sacred time with You. It reminds me of my minute existence in the core of Your grand hand. I am joined to the fact that You are worthy of me surrendering anything that I could ever consider to be a sacrifice and my obedience above that.

My desire is to be All-In with You.

In order to be successful, I will look at Our day by day and not the perfect picture because sometimes that overwhelms me. I am looking forward to growth and am also preparing for the growing pains. I will open my arms to the discomfort in shedding the ‘comfy me’ and work on releasing my need to be in control. You have already promised that You are with me.

Thank You for going before me. Continue reading “Desire, One Day at a Time”

Confront Pride and Apologize

Ever notice that we are usually the offended and NEVER the offender? We often deem ourselves in the right to receive an apology and very FEW times realize we have wronged, hurt and even BROKEN others and therefore need to make things RIGHT….

Acknowledging this undesirable truth about ourselves is not easy, but it’s necessary, if we expect real healing to occur-for us and the other person.

Time-out for just sweeping our wrongs under the carpet and ‘moving on’.

Being humble enough to sincerely say ‘I’m sorry’ or admit to being wrong is not always easy, but broken-chains and FREEDOM will be the result.

How many good friends and family members have we lost?

How many celebrations have we missed?

How many victories have WE FORFEITED, just because we’ve failed to confront our own pride and Apologize?

#JustAQuestion #SomethingToThinkAbout #PleaseConsider #GodHelpUs #GodHelpMe

Pack my bags

After finding out Trump was elected as our next president, I started to pack my bags so that, as he wishes, I could return to my home country…

Which made me begin to wonder, where the hell do I really come from?? 

Oh right, 

My ancestors were brought here against their wishes, 

And at some point, raped by their ‘owners’ {it hurts to even write that}

That’s the only way I can logically account for my great grandmother’s red hair and white skin,

– I doubt the fairy tailed- ‘our mixed love against the world’ is a greater possibility for how his-story actually went down…

So, again I ask myself, where am I going? 

The muddiness of this answer is found much deeper than at ancestry.com…

Internally I am vexed to point fingers and wage war 

Like, literally go to blows with people who have long gone from this earth, 

But who have left their blood of laws, lies and hate to perpetually speak on their behalf. 

I just want to tell them that we are worthy! 

Shake them up and let them know that we are worthy! 

Slap their faces, look them straight in the eyes and shout to them, “WE ARE WORTHY!” 

Wake them up and while trying to catch my breath, yell at them:

WE! 

ARE! 

WORTHY! 

TOO! 

After all, we were all once strangers on this soil…

God! This feels futile! 

These thoughts and frustrations are exhaustive… 

So, for a moment of peace of mind, I walk away from this reality with my bags half packed, 

Back to my smile…