Desire, One Day at a Time

 

I want to be lazy and give in to indifference; making the minimum effort (read a little and pray a little) just enough to note a difference or a slight increase in my usual devotion, but not enough for it to hurt, stretch or challenge me. This, I know, is a crazy and impossible way to think when true transformation is the goal.

Being honest with myself, I can conclude that I am often times neglectful with placing Our engagement as a priority. Usually making Our time a past-time-as in an afterthought. I am tempted to glory in the fact that at least I do make sure to spend time with You consistently, but the reality is it’s not my Best time; not when I am my sharpest or most energetic, but often when I am tired and about to call it quits for the day-

You deserve so much more than my scraps!

Your Word, God, however, gives me strength; it fuels me to read deeper and draws my heart to fall on my knees in prayer-sacred time with You. It reminds me of my minute existence in the core of Your grand hand. I am joined to the fact that You are worthy of me surrendering anything that I could ever consider to be a sacrifice and my obedience above that.

My desire is to be All-In with You.

In order to be successful, I will look at Our day by day and not the perfect picture because sometimes that overwhelms me. I am looking forward to growth and am also preparing for the growing pains. I will open my arms to the discomfort in shedding the ‘comfy me’ and work on releasing my need to be in control. You have already promised that You are with me.

Thank You for going before me. Continue reading “Desire, One Day at a Time”

Confront Pride and Apologize

Ever notice that we are usually the offended and NEVER the offender? We often deem ourselves in the right to receive an apology and very FEW times realize we have wronged, hurt and even BROKEN others and therefore need to make things RIGHT….

Acknowledging this undesirable truth about ourselves is not easy, but it’s necessary, if we expect real healing to occur-for us and the other person.

Time-out for just sweeping our wrongs under the carpet and ‘moving on’.

Being humble enough to sincerely say ‘I’m sorry’ or admit to being wrong is not always easy, but broken-chains and FREEDOM will be the result.

How many good friends and family members have we lost?

How many celebrations have we missed?

How many victories have WE FORFEITED, just because we’ve failed to confront our own pride and Apologize?

#JustAQuestion #SomethingToThinkAbout #PleaseConsider #GodHelpUs #GodHelpMe

Welcome Back?

I’ve written many posts and in so doing, have shared most of my life’s updates with you, but the major downside is, I’ve only done so in my head. On reality, it has been well over a year since I’ve posted anything new, well, actually closer to two years. I’ve finally surrendered to the fact that I’m very bad at this consistent writing thing so now I must look for a new method. 

I write this post in hopes that I will actually complete it and not only that, but that I will also upload it so that eyes other than my own can view. Attached to that hope is also the thought that perhaps my passion for writing will reignite and I will begin another writing and posting spree, no matter if it’s temporary. One of those things only time will tell. 

   

   

Catching Up! LA, LA!

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Goodness! I cannot believe it has been so long since I’ve posted on my blog! So many things have been going on in my life, good things, and interesting things,-well, interesting to me, at the least.

2014 has been very good to me so far. The hubby and I just celebrated 4 years of marriage a couple weeks ago (clap, clap, clap). For our anniversary, we decided to go to LA. We chose California because we wanted to go to a place that neither of us has been before, as well as a place that offered affordable air fare and around the time we booked the flights (December 2013), Cali fell in that category. My husband’s family is from Barbados and my roots on my father’s side, are from Panama. It was my hope to visit one of ‘our’ countries so that we can get in touch with our family history, but the rates (this time around) were not in our favor, so close to our anniversary.

We took a week off from our jobs, left our sweet little girl with my mom and flew six hours away into the pacific time zone, (three hours behind our home time zone). My husband is very good at planning, of course he consults me, but he always manages our flights, hotel, rental car…etc and ensures that all of that stuff is well taken care of. (Thank God!) That’s a nice trade for a neat home, clean clothes and dinner, he receives from me (almost) every day.

Once our flights were finalized, we made mental notes of the places that we wanted to visit: Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, Hollywood Blvd, Beverly Hills, I am a huge fan of the movie, “Pretty Woman” so I needed to go to Rodeo Drive and at my sister’s vicarious request; In and out Burger. I am not gonna spend too much time on this, but we did get to visit every place on our list and many, many more! I just have to say, that Hollywood Blvd was not as exciting as I thought it would be, it was a lot smaller (about two NYC blocks long [booooo]) and there were not that many stores. I think being from NY kind of killed the thrill for us because we are used to the convenience of bright lights, brilliant billboards and all of the attractions that city life has to offer. Don’t get me wrong, It was very BEAUTIFUL and fun, just not as vibrant and energetic or large as we anticipated.

The shopping malls in LA definitely got NY and the surrounding cities/states beat! I’ve never been to such beautiful malls, most of which are indoor/outdoor! Ridge Hill mall in Yonkers, NY, is a nice attempt, but it does not compare to The Grove mall, Hollywood mall or many of the other malls we patronized. The foliage, cleanliness and architectural beauty were very easy on the eyes and yes, the sunny skies and personal space from a lack of people, also helped. To me, LA has a NYC meets Florida feel. It has the hype of the city, with a laid back and friendly style. We did not do too much night life because we were still living on the NY time zone, plus we dedicated this vacation to sightseeing and relaxation and to be honest, we are not night-life people either, so it was not too much of an initial interest. We were told by some LA residents that they mainly had comedy clubs and bars open after 10:00 pm anyway, so that definitely did not entice us.

[We also visited the Getty Museum, ate at this really dope restaurant, “The Stinking Rose”, and ate ocean-side at the well-known, Gladstone’s seafood restaurant and tried El Pollo Loco and were blown away at its Mexican goodness, YUM!]

The hubby made sure to rent a convertible, a chocolate Chrome, 2014 Mustang, to be exact! He said there is no other way to drive in LA (ahhhh, the male ego!) And, by the way…the rush-hour traffic in LA is horrendous, it gives NYC’s rush-hour a definite run for its money! Luckily for us, we were fortunate enough to always be in the direction that was against the flow of traffic, so we got around pretty smoothly, but looking across that traffic divide, was heart wrenching! (Oh, the drama!) At least in NYC, there are numerous ways to get to your destination in the event it’s stocked with traffic, also, the miles between exits are not as long, so you can always get off to a side street, but it did not seem that way where we were 9 I may be wrong).

Any who, we hooked up with some very cool people while we were there, one set, were awesome friends of a close friend, the other was a home girl we know who relocated to California months before. We also had a great time meeting new people, seeing new sights and overall, being in a new environment. Yet, while I am the type of person who loves exotic trees, sunny skies and warmth (which is so, LA) my hubby and I agree, that there is no place like home!

<<There’s so much more that I could type about our vacation, but this is the general part of our experience! I am hoping to type a part two.

Reflecting, Saturday, July 28, 2012

Reflecting on my teenage years, I remember constantly praying to God on behalf of my mother. What seems like everyday, I asked Him to spare her life and release her from the relentless grips of drug addiction, which had her bound way before I can even remember. I remember fearing that she wouldn’t live long enough to see me graduate high school or college. I remember the many days I nervously wondered if she’d ever be present to happily watch me take the plunge into holy matrimony or with a motherly comfort, walk me through the path of pregnancy and the birth of my first child. This day, I am glad to remember her standing at my side as I graduated college. I remember the kiss she gave me the day I got married and I remember the support and many stories she told about her pregnancy with me and about my baby years. I remember 15 years ago when God delivered her from drug addiction and not too long after that, saved her soul. Today, I remember her crying while declaring, “I am a follower of Jesus Christ!” and being baptized in the powerful name of Jesus Christ!

I am a living witness that God still answers prayer! I feel like I cannot thank Him enough. The road started out very rough, but God has redeemed the times and I am grateful!

“All things work together for good…”

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The Newlywed!

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It was around 4 a.m. and day three of our honeymoon, when I was awakened by my new husband. He was tugging on my arm saying, “Chaz, get up! Chaz, get up! Go use the bathroom!” Dazed, sleepy and confused, I said, “My name is Tika, and I don’t have to use the bathroom!” I forced my gaze on him in the almost pitch-black room and noticed he was looking me directly in my face. As if he did not even hear what I said, he continued calling me his brother’s name and telling me to get up and go use the bathroom and I kept telling him my name and that I did not have to use the bathroom. This back and forth went on for about 30 more seconds. Finally, when I didn’t budge, he relented, walked into the bathroom, which was connected to our room and mumbled, “Don’t be mad at me…mumble, mumble, mumble…”. Once he returned from the bathroom, he got back in the bed, laid down and put the covers on himself as if nothing strange just took place.

At this point, even though the only concept I had of a sleepwalker was the zombie, closed-eyed person walking with their stiff arms in front of them (usually depicted on old TV shows and cartoons) I was almost positive I was married to one.

Thankful that that was the extent of his sleeping episode, I lay there wondering if we passed the annulment period in our marriage already? And somewhere between that thought I fell back to sleep. Since then, my married life has been nothing short of this strange yet awesome adventure, hence my new blog section- The Newlywed. It is in this blog that I will share some of the experiences, lessons learned, works in progress etc…that came along with this next step in my life.

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A note to Love

You are my dream come true
The manifestation of a dream deferred
in word, thought and deed, you fulfill my ideals of love
My heart and soul follow suit after your adoration
My womb leaps with anticipation, and I can see myself bringing forth your nation
Working hard with your hands, creating a legacy for your seed, you are a man, fully a man indeed
In stature and frame can none compare, coupled with wisdom and knowledge, a combination so rare,
I’ll cherish you as a precious stone, and pledge to be yours and yours alone
For who can time love? And for love who can tame? One day I’ll vow to take your all from your heart to your name
I can barely believe all of life’s events led us to meeting here, for I am yours and you are my answered prayer